12.4.09

new life

it's a beautiful morning. a morning for enjoying company and sitting in the quiet listening to the birds and the sun. sitting next to you drinking tea in the morning and first breakfast, before we walk to the village and enjoy the quiet and the rustle of the countryside.

i am here, drinking a cup of mariage frères tea and missing You.

i've been away. my mind has been restless and wandering. rather than keep my feet, i've missed the stability of wandering with You.

It's a dangerous business, stepping out your front door. You never know where'll you'll be swept off to.

the danger isn't being swept away, the danger is sitting and becoming stagnant. it's time i started moving again. like the dead marshes and their creeping mould, i've let this place drag me into isolation and dormancy.

it's the simple things that lift the heart and bring the soul back into alignment.

morning has broken.

2.2.09

tamolitch

sunset.
dusk shadows are playing across the water
i can see you, but i wait,
motionless.
watching the birds dart as the insects skit along the surface.
behind me i can hear the rush of the rapids
but here,

here,

all is quiet.

the pool is more than just blue.
it's depths are black, edged in gold as the sun flickers through the trees.
green flirts with the edges as the water settles into the cliff's shadow.

blue breaks as a black shape cracks the surface.
the bird splashes and skitters along, then dives again.

i hear my song as the water bubbles over the pebbles and then crashes down as it gathers momentum on the rocks below me.

sunset crescendos
dusk falls
trail beckons

i will return.

31.12.08

happy new year

here's to 2009.

resolution?

be God's.

wholly.

yours?

29.11.08

scraps

It’s unclear whether of not wisdom comes with age. For the older I become the more confused and unwise I feel. Would it be wiser to break all ties with the world and protect a pained heart? Would it be wiser to show that broken object to you, giving you the possibility of bruising it even more? Is there wisdom in trust? Does wisdom come really from life, or is it what happens in life that gives it? I wonder, is wisdom offered, given, or granted? Does one have to accept it?


Blinding whiteness.
Stunning the senses and sending the head reeling into saffron and crimson.
Sparkling across paradise and passion
Light sends her caress to the earth.
Waking in the dawning, the colours are shown.
Brilliancy yet to be born
As brief glimpses wink through the trees.



Help me LORD
For I'm drowning in YOUR love.
This desire for more of YOU is over-whelming my soul.
Cover me, LORD. Kill me with YOUR grace.
Pave the way so my life can take more of YOU.
Open the floods onto my heart as I crave more passion
Beyond anything I've known before.


i seem to have lost my ability to write and finish anything. it's all frustrating scraps of .... of something. there comes a point in the writing and i have nothing left in my head, but the lines gape and end without an ending. what have i lost? or what have i gained that doesn't allow for the finishing?

thanksgiving 08


pies
Originally uploaded by girl-ferg.
in honour of the coyotes i got up this morning and ran my own turkey stuffer in 29F weather it may have been slow, but it was inspiring.

then came home, baked an apple and pumpkin pie, prepped stuffing, sweet potatoes and the turkey.

11.30 turkey in oven. dishes done. table getting set.




happy thanksgiving.

5.10.08

chariots of fire

the great north run started this morning with the wheelchair athletes as BBC piped in the 'chariots of fire' theme song. it's been about 15 years since i've seen 'Chariots of Fire' and i remember being impressed by someone who sacrificed what they loved, for who they loved.

it may not seem a big deal, running on a sunday. but when did we loose the concept that our sabboth is God's and not man's? i'm as guilty as any, skipping church to mix on a sunday, let alone running. am i missing the point that it isn't the 'doing' on the sunday that matters, but the 'why' i'm doing it? why will i not give my whole day to Christ if i say i'll give Him my whole life?

on the other side of eric liddell is his sacrifice to people in need of hearing the gospel. we talked about missions in church this morning. i'm a bit frustrated with this cause in the last year there have been loads of people who ask why i didn't go to uganda with my church or why i don't go on a missions trip to somewhere?

how do i say this.... I did. i live in Northern Ireland.

but it's a struggle to not think we have to LEAVE to be a 'missionary'. it's just general assumption that to be a missionary, we have to buy a ticket somewhere to a place other than that where we live. one of the things that has come out of this is the thought that the "mission field" is simply anywhere outside the doors of church.

i like that. i have a few friends right now i want to be my "mission field" and this quote explains it well:

“We are all missionaries. Wherever we go, we either bring people nearer to Christ, or we repel them from Christ.” eric liddell

28.9.08

My King leads me
I don’t know where we’re going.
The faces around me are set like flint.
I wonder, what does mine look like?
I hope it’s hard,
But my heart pounds in fear.
Courage I should have,
Yet I falter.
Riding towards certain death.
Or is there hope?
Hope in any face?
I see none.
Looking to the eyes of my King
I see His hope.
He meets my gaze
A slight nod
Acknowledging my near panic.
Then his eyes harden.
Staring straight into mine
He speaks softly,
“you will live to fight another day.”

24.9.08

like old times

tomorrow i get to go to chichester and see burton.

and hang out at G2 Studios

and be monkey girl again


....at least for a little while

and meet Issy, and Amos.

and see the lovely Caff.

19.9.08

to the short one

It may have been the smile that instantly made us friends.
But then again, your laugh was infectious.
Yet even as you laugh over the top of it,
There’s much more to you than you let on.
Why do you hide it?
The smile caught me
Or was it your laugh?
Your friendship is refreshing
Your standards high
But there is more than a glimmer of pain
Behind your eyes, waiting
Laughter masking your true self
There is a hidden depth to you
More pain, more joy, more of you.
You hide behind yourself
What about you
Do you not like?
There I more to you
Than meets the eye
More than you know
Keep open
Keep allowing for your gaze to be widened
You are HIS son
HE wants all of this for you
See what is at your fingertips?
Take it.
It’s all a gift for you
A gift of love to you.

15.9.08

here

four years today.

it was the best of times
it was the worst of times.

13.9.08

friends

so i have these three friends.... i'll call them curly, moe, and larry....and i don't know what to do about them....

curly...used to get texts all the time, funny comments, good laughs whenever we saw each other, great fun. now, barely hear anything. don't know if they're just frantically busy so if there is something wrong. there was one thing, but it seemed to be no big deal....but you know how your mind goes back to the worst thing you can think of.....i'm frustrated, cause i liked that friendship. do i just sit them down and say....

moe...only talks to me periodically, when moe wants something. when we met, i thought there was a good friendship in the works. but moe lives in a different place and has loads of friends now. so moe rings when i have something he needs. i want the friendship of moe, but at what cost?

larry...is dear to me. and in the worst trouble of the three. and i can't seem to help, and it's awful. larry is in the middle of horror and is trusting GOD implicitly, but it seems like HE's not doing anything. there is no doubt HE's still GOD to be worshiped and revered, but i can't carry larry, so GOD has to. what if HE doesn't?

i don't know what to do about these friends.